


Immature

by SheerIridescence



Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M, Fluff, fart jokes, immature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29932521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheerIridescence/pseuds/SheerIridescence
Summary: this is literal poop humour. I am. so sorry in advance i am 5.
Relationships: Bartolomeo (One Piece)/Reader
Kudos: 1





	Immature

The sea breeze always lifted up your spirits on sunny days. You could say that the whole crew was in high spirits on a day like this. Well… Almost the whole crew. Bartolomeo, your beloved captain and partner, was sulking under the sun instead of soaking it up, leaning on his ship’s railing with an extremely sad look in his eyes. Once you noticed him and his demeanour, you rolled your eyes and decided to approach him, knowing full well what had him down in the dumps. 

“Bartolomeo, are you really gonna continue to be sad and sulk about how you had to leave the Strawhats all day?” You spoke up, stepping up next to him. 

He did not answer you with words, but with whining instead as he nodded his head up and down, a huge frown on his face as he turned to look at you. He practically had tears streaming down his face, and the sight of him honestly only made you laugh. 

“Oh honey, you’re something else honestly.” You snorted, trying not to make your laughter obvious. “You gotta cheer up! Come on.”

“Noooo. I can’t!” He whined further.

“Gee, it’s almost like you love Luffy more than me! You wound me so!” You cried out, feigning emotional distress. 

This made Bartolomeo conflicted as all hell, and the few crewmates that overheard began to snicker at the display you were both putting on. 

“No! I do- I-I mean I don't!” He stammered out, completely flustered. 

“I’m just screwing with you hun!” You giggled, smacking his shoulder playfully. “You do gotta cheer up though. We can’t have our captain weeping into the sea the entire day.”

“I… I don’t know how to cheer up though.” He whined again, looking at you with huge puppy dog eyes. 

“Hmm… Well, I could start by making you laugh. I know exactly how to do so too.” You grinned mischievously. 

Standing back a bit, you assumed a wide stance and held a funny pose. You then squatted down while holding that pose, and on your way down, you let rip an obnoxiously loud fart of such caliber, whoever else was on deck turned to look at you in shock. Bartolomeo froze upon hearing the sound come from you, and all his tears stopped as he stared at you with wide eyes. 

“You… I thought you were a _lady_.” He gasped.

“And?”

“How… How _uncouth_. How _immature_.!” He then exaggerated, pointing a finger at you. 

“Oh and you’re not? Ha! As if. Your crew seems to find it absolutely hilarious!” You laughed, gesturing at the group of chuckling pirates behind you. “Fart jokes will never go out of style.” You added, letting out another squeaker. 

“Ugh you're so NASTY.” Bartolomeo groaned, trying and failing at concealing a spurt of laughter. 

“I know you’re trying so hard not to laugh.” You hummed, stepping closer to him. “C’mon, laugh~! You know you want to.”

With that, you decided to let out one more fart just to try and get him to crack. This one though was unexpectedly long, going on for a good ten seconds. It even changed pitch a couple of times, like a squeaky and smelly instrument. When it finally ended, there was a deafening moment of silence before the entire deck lost it, cracking up in a chorus of laughter. You had fallen over from laughing so hard, and even Bartolomeo couldn’t hold back his laughter, having finally broken. 

“You are one NASTY hoe!” He yelled, backing away from you with an impossible to get rid of grin. 

“Am I? C’mon, take it in! Enjoy the richness of it all!” You laughed, rolling over to him and trying to pull him down closer to you. 

Bartolomeo screeched and leapt away from you, running halfway across the deck. He then crossed his fingers and encased you in a spherical barrier, sticking his tongue out at you. 

“Sit in your own stink alone!” He taunted. 

“NOOOO! Let me out you fucker!” You screamed, already comedically displeased with the situation he put you in. 

Bartolomeo cackled menacingly at you trapped in a sphere of your own stench, but his laughter soon turned into a cry of fear. He had to turn fast and scrabble away as you had decided to roll the ball after him, chasing him back and forth across the deck in an attempt to free yourself. The scene was incredibly hilarious and those that remained on deck at a safe distance were laughing their asses off as you rolled aggressively after their captain. Eventually you caught up with him after a few more seconds though, as he tripped on a loose board and slowed down for a moment long enough for you to come crashing into him. The impact caused him to uncross his fingers and you ended up tumbling across the deck together in a mess of limbs until you came to a stop at the railing with you on top of him. 

“Ugh, you caught me, stinky” He groaned, muffling his laughter once again. 

“I did! I know you thought it was funny, so quit tryna hide it~. I can see your shoulders tensing up.” You snorted. 

Rolling his eyes, Bartolomeo wrapped his arms around you and squished you down into his chest in a tight hug. “Yeah. It actually was.” He admitted, letting a chuckle slip out.

“And you had the audacity to call _me_ immature.” You scoffed. 

“Oh no, you are. But so am I.” He grinned. “All that effort just to cheer me up. God I love you.”

Both of you began to laugh, finally content with yourselves. You then crawled up his chest and planted a big loving kiss on his lips, squishing his cheeks as you did so. He absolutely adored the amount of affection he was receiving and kissed you back, holding you tight. When you pulled back from him, you simply stared at him softly and sighed. 

“Now stop sulking, Meo. We have our own adventures to go on, so let’s live them out together.” You hummed. 

“Fineee. Only for you though.” He sighed, kissing you once more on the nose, happy to have you in his life.


End file.
